Beyond Doing
How Embracing Your Feelings Can Lead to True Empowerment
Have you ever felt alone, only to immediately seek out something to do, hoping to escape that feeling?
What if you allowed yourself to truly feel it instead of trying to outrun it?
In today's culture, it's easy to default to action when uncomfortable emotions arise. Still, this tendency to 'do' can often lead us away from the deeper truths those emotions are trying to reveal.
This constant doing can keep us stuck in a cycle of avoidance, where our actions are driven by a need to cover up uncomfortable emotions rather than to understand and resolve them.
The Core Idea
What's the Real Issue?
When we feel emotions like loneliness, anxiety, or sadness, our first instinct is often to "fix" the feeling by doing something—anything—to make it go away.
We might call a friend, binge-watch a series, or throw ourselves into work.
But what if this constant doing is merely a way to cover up a deeper issue? What if the true resolution lies not in action but in presence?
Managing Emotional Baggage
Imagine your experiences are like food on a dinner plate, and your plate represents your capacity to hold and process emotional energy.
Each experience adds something to your plate, some of which may be more pleasant than others.
When an unpleasant emotion or experience arises—something you'd rather not deal with—it's like pushing that food to the side of your plate.
But as you continue to add more experiences (more food) without addressing what's already there, your plate gets fuller and fuller.
The Weight of Holding On
Eventually, the plate becomes so full that there's no room left to enjoy or even process new experiences because you're still holding onto what hasn't been resolved.
The longer food sits there, the more it sticks, making it harder to clean off the plate.
Similarly, unresolved emotions can become stuck, making them more challenging to address over time.
Acknowledge, Understand, and Release
By constantly doing—adding more to the plate—you avoid the necessary work of being with those unresolved emotions, understanding what they're trying to tell you, and letting go of what no longer serves you.
This doesn't mean you have to "eat" everything on your plate—meaning, you don't have to dwell on every complex emotion—but it's essential to acknowledge them, understand their message, and then release them if they don't serve your growth.
The Shift
Moving from Doing to Being
Instead of asking, "What do I do?" when a complex emotion surfaces, consider shifting your focus to "What's here?"
This simple change in perspective allows you to explore the feelings at their source, opening the door to greater self-awareness and healing.
When you ask, "What's here?" you're inviting yourself to be fully present with your emotions, to sit with them and understand what they're trying to tell you.
You don't need to do anything in these moments; you need to be here now.
The goal isn't to eliminate emotions but to understand them, to acknowledge their presence without judgment.
This is what builds self-awareness, acceptance, emotional resilience, and profound empowerment.
The Importance of Mindfulness
I know this shift from doing to being can be challenging, especially in a world that prioritizes constant action and productivity. Just like any new practice, it takes time, patience, and persistence.
To support you in making this challenging shift, I encourage breath awareness meditation as a foundational exercise.
It's not a quick fix but a tool that helps ground and center you, providing the stability needed to face and process your emotions.
Redefining Your Relationship with Stillness
This shift isn't just about changing habits; it's about redefining your relationship with discomfort. Imagine someone who has been running non-stop.
If they suddenly stop, they might feel dizzy or uncomfortable because their body is so accustomed to constant movement.
Similarly, when you shift from the familiar pace of doing to the unfamiliar stillness of being, it may feel uncomfortable at first.
But this discomfort isn't something to fear—it's a sign that you're expanding your capacity to be present with yourself.
Finding Comfort in Stillness and Growth
Breath awareness, in itself, can be challenging, especially if you're used to always being on the go.
But it's through this stillness that you begin to gain insight into the emotions you may have been avoiding, consciously or subconsciously.
The unfamiliar territory of stillness is where true expansion happens, offering you the opportunity to redefine what comfort means.
Comfort doesn't have to be about staying in the same rhythm; it can be about embracing the space where growth and new understanding occur.
Be gentle with yourself.
Practice this shift slowly and mindfully. Understand that insight and healing don't come from busyness or doing, especially if those actions stem from a place of unresolved emotions.
Instead, they come from the quiet moments of being, where you can truly listen to what's within.
The Role of Doing
Aligning Action with Core Values
While this article emphasizes the importance of being present with your emotions, it's equally important to acknowledge that doing—taking action—is a vital aspect of our existence.
However, the key contrast lies in the source of this doing.
Recognizing Emotion-Driven Actions
We often default to action to escape uncomfortable emotions, seeking approval, acceptance, or distraction. This kind of doing, driven by unresolved feelings, can lead to a cycle of avoidance rather than true resolution.
It's important to recognize when our actions are being motivated by a wound—an emotion that hasn't been fully recognized, understood, and processed.
Exploring the Power of Aligned Action
However, action can be incredibly empowering when it stems from a place of alignment with our core values, rather than from a place of emotional discomfort.
For instance, exercise and movement are essential practices for maintaining physical and mental health.
But they become even more powerful when performed not as a means to avoid difficult emotions but as expressions of self-care, discipline, and commitment to our well-being.
Doing From a Place of Clarity
When we take action from a place of clarity—after allowing ourselves to fully experience and understand our emotions—we no longer act out of a need for distraction or validation.
Instead, we engage in activities reflecting our true values and intentions. This shift from reactive doing to intentional doing is what ultimately leads to empowerment and personal growth.
Examining Our Motivations
While it's natural and necessary to "do," it's crucial to examine the motivations behind our actions.
Are we acting to cover up a feeling, or are we acting in alignment with our deeper values?
By making this distinction, we can ensure that our actions contribute to our overall well-being rather than perpetuate patterns of avoidance.
The Power of the Present Moment
Breath awareness and meditation play a crucial role in helping you navigate these initial stages of emotional awareness.
Through breath awareness meditation, you can develop a stronger sense of body-mind connection, which is essential for understanding and processing your emotions.
"Yoga helps anchor you in the present moment, making it easier to observe your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them." - Align with Veronica
Benefits of Breath Awareness in Meditation
When you focus on your breath, you anchor yourself in the present moment, allowing your mind to settle and your body to relax.
This state of calm presence makes it easier to notice your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.
By integrating breath awareness into your practice, you create a supportive environment for your feelings to surface naturally, giving you the space to explore them with curiosity and compassion.
Guide to Deepening Your Breath Awareness Practice
If you're interested in deepening your breath awareness practice, you can access my detailed guide, Breath Awareness Meditation: Awaken Mindful Presence.
This guide walks you through the steps to cultivate mindfulness and connect with your breath, helping you to build a foundation for emotional balance and self-awareness.
Finding Insights Through Self-Reflection
Consider a moment when you felt deeply alone.
Did you immediately seek out an activity to distract yourself, or did you allow yourself to sit with the feeling?
In my own journey, profound insights emerge when I take the time to fully feel and question the belief behind the emotion.
For instance, my sense of loneliness is rooted in a fear of not being valued for who I am rather than what I do.
This awareness allows me to address the core issue rather than just masking the symptom.
This realization didn't just help me understand my loneliness; it allowed me to choose actions that nurtured my true self rather than simply distracting me from my emotions.
"By embracing your feelings rather than masking them with action, you create space for true healing and growth." - Align with Veronica
The next time you feel the urge to "do" something to escape an uncomfortable feeling, pause. Ask yourself, "What's really here?" What belief or thought is driving this emotion?
By simply being present with it, you may find that the answers you seek are already within you.
This practice of self-inquiry not only helps you understand your emotions better but also builds a deeper connection with yourself, fostering self-trust and confidence.
"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."
- Pema Chödrön, American Buddhist Nun
This quote reminds us that by fully experiencing and exploring our emotions, we can uncover their lessons, leading to growth and healing.
7 Practical Steps
Implementing Emotional Awareness in Daily Life
Daily Check-In: Set aside a few minutes each day to check in with your emotions. How are you feeling right now? What thoughts or beliefs are accompanying these feelings?
Breath Awareness Meditation: Begin your check-in with a few minutes of breath awareness. Focus on the usual flow of your breath and notice the sensation of your inhales and exhales. This practice helps to calm the mind and brings your awareness into the present moment, making it easier to connect with your emotions.
Sit with Your Feelings: When a strong emotion arises, resist the urge to immediately act on it. Instead, sit with it. Breathe fully and allow yourself to experience the feeling without judgment.
Ask Reflective Questions: As you sit with your emotions, ask yourself, "What's here? What is this feeling trying to tell me?" This simple inquiry can lead to profound insights.
Embrace the Discomfort: Understand that it's okay to feel discomfort. In fact, it's often in these uncomfortable moments that the most growth occurs.
Align Action with Values: When you decide to take action, reflect on whether it aligns with your core values and long-term well-being. Let your actions be driven by clarity rather than a need to escape discomfort.
Trust the Process: Over time, as you continue to practice being present with your emotions, you'll develop a stronger connection with yourself. This connection will guide you toward the right actions when the time is right.
Key Takeaways
Shift from Doing to Being: Instead of immediately seeking action when uncomfortable emotions arise, focus on being present with your feelings. This shift allows for deeper self-awareness and authentic resolution.
Explore Your Emotions: Asking "What's here?" helps you uncover the true cause of your emotions rather than masking them with actions. This approach cultivates a deeper understanding of yourself.
Integrate Breath Awareness: Using breath awareness meditation as a tool helps anchor you in the present moment, making it easier to observe and process emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
Build Emotional Resilience: By sitting with your emotions and observing them without judgment, you cultivate emotional resilience and develop a stronger connection with your inner self.
Trust the Process: Embracing the discomfort of your emotions and trusting the process of self-inquiry leads to greater clarity, healing, and personal growth over time.
"Embracing the discomfort of your emotions and trusting the process of self-inquiry leads to greater clarity, healing, and personal growth."
- Align with Veronica
Final Thoughts
Embracing your feelings, rather than masking them with action, is a courageous step towards self-awareness and true empowerment.
The next time you feel alone or anxious, remember that the most powerful action you can take might be to simply feel.
By allowing yourself to experience your emotions fully, you create space for healing and growth, leading to a deeper understanding of yourself and your true needs.
True empowerment comes from what you do and the awareness and intention behind your actions.
By choosing to sit with your emotions instead of escaping them, you reclaim your power and open the door to deeper self-understanding and growth.
Have you ever tried sitting with a difficult emotion instead of acting on it? What did you discover?
I'd love to hear about your experiences. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
Stay Connected!
Join my newsletter and receive exclusive insights on self-awareness and personal transformation, and practical exercises straight to your inbox.
