Riding the Emotional Wave: How to Make Clearer Decisions
Many of us make decisions based on the intensity of an emotion, whether it's excitement, fear, anxiety, or doubt. But emotions, like waves, rise and fall before settling into a moment of calm.
What Does It Mean to Ride the Wave?
Riding the emotional wave doesn’t mean attaching yourself to the emotion or letting it dictate your decision. Instead, it means understanding how emotions flow. There’s a high phase, a low phase, and, eventually, a moment of calm where clarity emerges.
For those who have experienced chronic stress, fight-or-flight responses, or survival mode, making decisions from a calm state can feel unfamiliar. If you've found yourself making choices impulsively, whether saying yes out of excitement or no out of fear, it’s often a sign that you haven’t yet reached the neutral clarity of the wave.
The challenge is that when we are overwhelmed, burnt out, or highly stressed, we may believe that neutrality is unattainable. This is where intentional pause, breathwork, and meditation come in, not as luxuries but as necessary tools to regulate the nervous system and create space for true clarity before acting.
The Flow of an Emotional Wave
High Phase
You experience heightened emotion like excitement, anxiety, eagerness, or urgency. Everything feels big and immediate.
Low Phase
Doubt, fatigue, or procrastination may set in. The initial intensity fades, and you might second-guess yourself.
Moment of Calm
If you allow the wave to run its course, you reach a state of steadiness where your nervous system is regulated. This is where true clarity arises.
The Key to Making Aligned Decisions
Don’t commit during the high phase. The energy is intense but temporary.
Don’t reject something in the low phase. Doubt and fatigue can distort perspective.
Wait for the calm. From here, ask yourself: Do I feel steady and clear? If yes, then ask: Is this choice aligned with my energy and values?
Scenario 1: Saying Yes Too Fast
High Phase: “This opportunity is amazing! I’m IN!” OR “I feel nervous, but I don’t want to disappoint, so I’ll say yes.”
Low Phase: “Wait…this feels like too much. Did I take on more than I can handle?”
Emotional Crash: Frustration, regret, or sadness, realizing it’s not actually what you wanted.
Without letting the wave settle, the decision was made based on a temporary emotional state, not true clarity.
Scenario 2: Weaving in the Pause and Awareness
High Phase: “Wow, this sounds incredible!” OR “I feel nervous, but is this just fear of the unknown?”
Low Phase: “Hmm… do I actually have the energy for this?” OR “Am I saying no because of fear, or is it truly not for me?”
Moment of Stillness: Ask yourself: Do I feel calm and steady?
When you feel calm and steady, do you ask: Is this choice aligned with my intentions and values? Would I still say yes even if the excitement or anxiety has faded?
Understanding the Power of Intentional Pause
Every decision may feel urgent and high-stakes for someone deeply embedded in survival mode. But most daily decisions are not life-altering. They only feel that way when we are dysregulated.
The nervous system, when overwhelmed, convinces us that every choice is a make-or-break moment. In reality, most decisions benefit from a moment of pause, which allows us to access deeper discernment rather than reactionary judgment or impulse. Pausing doesn’t mean doing nothing. Meditation and breathwork are not about waiting idly. They are about actively training attention and regulation.
When I began practicing meditation, I initially saw it as a tool for relaxation. But over time, I realized it was something much deeper: a tool for training my attention to what I actually wanted to experience, which was, at the time, clarity and calm. Before this awareness, I was constantly moving from one thing to the next, believing I was making intentional choices when I was actually reacting to my emotions dominated by fear, which took on many different feelings. Even when I thought I was calm, I was merely attaching myself to an external action or feeling rather than truly being present. It was only when I developed true presence that I could recognize when I was frustrated, discontent, or unsettled… things I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.
Through this realization, I found that I have more control and influence over my state of being, and with that control came clarity. My decisions became less about avoidance, attaching, or impulse and more about trusting the space between emotion and action.
Final Check-In Before a Commitment
Before saying YES, ask yourself:
Have I waited at least 24-48 hours to let emotional wave settle?
Do I feel calm and steady?
Is this choice aligned with my purpose and values?
Would I still say YES even if the excitement or anxiety has faded?
If the answer to all of these is yes, then it's truly right for you. This has helped me, especially when working with understanding my emotions and what I was really feeling.
Final Thoughts
Yoga teaches us this powerful principle: Chitta Vritti Nirodhah, the quieting of the mental waves.
These emotional fluctuations, much like thoughts, are waves that come and go. They are not permanent. By integrating awareness, regulation, and intentional pauses, you bring yourself into a place of clarity before making decisions. The emotional wave is part of the process and experience, but it doesn’t have to dictate your choices.
Next time you feel the rush of a decision, pause. Let the wave pass. See what remains when the emotions settle. Now, does this shift how you might approach decision-making moving forward? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
