Why Thinking About Someone Isn’t Real Connection (And What “I Forgot” Really Means)

Have you ever heard someone say, “I was just thinking about you!”

Maybe it’s when you finally reach out after weeks of silence.

Or when you see them and they casually say, “We should grab coffee soon,” but it never happens unless you initiate. And if you don’t? The connection fades into silence.

Until next time, when you’re met again with, “Oh, I forgot…”

This post is for the one who feels deeply. Who makes room for presence.

And who’s tired of being met with surface-level thought in place of real connection.

Thought Alone Is Not Connection

Thinking about someone doesn’t require effort.

Connection does.

There’s a difference between having a passing thought and choosing to reach out.

You can think of someone all day long and still never truly be with them.

What we often call connection is sometimes just mental noise dressed up as care.

A true connection is felt.
It moves through presence.
It shows up as effort, energy, attention.

When “I Forgot” Is Avoidance

Forgetting isn’t neutral. If something matters to you and you forget it, you usually ask why.

You retrace your steps, reflect on what distracted you, and try to prevent it from happening again.

You care.

But when someone says, “I forgot” — and stops there — it reveals more than a lapse in memory.

It often signals avoidance.
Discomfort.
Or disconnection from the present moment.

The truth is: ego doesn’t like to be in discomfort because it reveals the truth it's hiding.
And forgetting is often how the ego avoids feeling.

When you tell someone you felt hurt that they forgot your birthday, and they dismiss you with, “Oh, I thought it was next week,” they’re not really meeting you.

They’re bypassing the emotional energy in the room.

And if you’re not grounded, you might start to second-guess your own sensitivity.

Forgetting Has Layers

There’s always a reason behind forgetting.

And often, that reason lives in the subconscious. It may come from discomfort, disconnection, or emotional patterns we’ve never questioned.

When someone is important to you, you don’t just forget them.
And if you do, you usually feel it.

Forgetting becomes a pattern when presence is not a practice.

You can train your mind to function on autopilot, but connection isn’t automatic.
It’s chosen.

And so is presence.

The Weight of Being the One Who Feels

If you’re the one who always remembers, the one who reaches out, the one who feels the disconnect first, it can feel heavy.

And when your sensitivity is labeled as “too much,” or you’re told to “get over it,” you may begin to wonder if you’re the problem.

You’re not.

You’re simply present in a world that often isn’t. And being present means you notice what others avoid.

Presence as a Practice

Presence is not perfection. It’s practice. And no one can sit in your seat of awareness for you.

There will be times you forget.

But the difference is you’ll feel the forgetting.
You’ll ask what it means.
You’ll track it back to the moment you lost presence.

And that’s where the healing begins.

Because healing is not about always getting it right. It’s about choosing to return to presence when you realize you left.

Your Sensitivity Is Your Strength

To feel deeply is to hold power. And that power requires grounding.

You don’t need to justify your hurt. You don’t need to fight to be remembered. What you need is the strength to stay present in a world that wants to forget itself.

Let your breath ground you.
Let your movement center you.
Let your awareness bring you back home.

And when someone says, “I forgot…” you’ll know exactly what that means.

Veronica | Align with Veronica

Breath-led practices, emotional presence, and nervous system-based healing.
Return to truth. Reclaim your seat. Remember who you are

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